hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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