You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
