I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
