Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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