hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize