forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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