ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
