My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my mouth tastes like poor choices
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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