i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
