absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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