he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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