is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
