Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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