need another drink. this is the easiest way
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
