What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
