i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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