Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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