he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
