either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Panties = found
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
