I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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