ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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