For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize