my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
