i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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