Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
