This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
