So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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