You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
