Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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