pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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