Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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