we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
