Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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