I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He passed out mid-signature
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
