party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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