Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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