I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize