What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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