: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
