I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
