Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize