I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
