So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
