Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
