just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
