Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
