How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
