I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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