Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
