are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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