he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
