then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
