If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
